Bullboard
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The Bullboard is the official Primus messageboard.
Contents |
The Bumble Bee Board
The first incarnation of the Bull Board, affectionately referred to by old-timers like nana and overview as "The Bumble Bee Board", was an ugly and underpopulated eyesore hosted by Zoltron. It only lasted a year, from 1997-1998. The color motif, if you could call it that, was a retina-piercing shade of yellow on a black background. There was no registration, and notable persons like Bob Cock and Arnie posted often.
The Dick Rush Years
From approximately 1998 until 2005, the Bull Board was created and run by a half-retarded minotaur fucker named Dickie, a Prawn Song "gopher boy" who lost a bet. A man simply known as Dinker ruled ass on this bored for years until Dickie lost his day job and decided to spend all his free time squeezing every last drop of fun out of it. As a result Dinker killed himself with a table saw. There was also a man named Kelly who used the word "fag" incessantly and anally masturbated while watching "The Golden Girls" on Lifetime. Most agree the BB's glory years were spent on this board, which still required no registration and lacked almost any moderation to speak of. As a community with no real purpose or direction (as Primus was on hiatus for most of its tenure and Les Claypool was farting around with smelly hippies), the "Dinker Bullboard" evolved into a complex hierarchy of sometimes-indecipherable inside jokes(like Kelly being a girl and/or homosexual with three penises and/or vaginas) and an even distribution of circle jerks and flame wars. Most would agree that it's best use was for the sharing of scat porn and pictures of the kid that played Webster on 1980s sitcom "Webster". It ended too soon.
The 'Shitty' Board
In Julyish of 2005, Dick Rush was relieved of his duties and Wild Bill the maneqin fucker replaced the BB's design with a brand new, fresh-out-of-the-package phpBB board. The kind that's free. The board was changed in the summer of 2005 to a more regulated message board, with Usernames, post counts and specific sections for discussion. The 4 sections are: Primus, General, Les Claypool & Prawn Song (Sections called Gabby La La and Issues existed but were deleted when it was discovered Gabby La La sucks). After a brief yet colassal failure involving user-moderation, the new BB has settled into a routine of pointlessness and disgust. Just like old times!
Les or Ler have never posted but Herb dropped in once to say thanks. Zoltron posts occasionally also.
The naming 'shitty' comes from disillusioned morons who are saddened by the fact that they cannot post shit-porn links. These are the people who do not know what Google is.
Controversies
The BullBoard went to hell sometime last year, when it was invaded with scat-porn links, these include tub girl, veronica mosser and 2 girls, 1 cup. It caused a huge divide in the board as the moderators deleted posts, and banned members who dealt with these enticing links.
- Some Primus Fan said "It pissed me off".
- Another Some Primus Fan said "I think it was good".
See? It was divided. It was hell.
There is almost always an uproar when a member is TKO'd, as it is almost never explained why.
There has also been a lot of chaos involving Ron Paul's candidacy. Much of the board disapproves of his platforms. In fact, ian is at the forefront to stop Ron Paulology.
Ler may or may not have three penises. Zolton will not allow discussion of Ler's fabled tri-dong on the Bullboard.
Traditional Events
There are a good number of events that are done on an annual or daily basis.
- Bullboard Music Exchange.
- The Bullboard Venereal Disease Exchange
- Uproars concerning poor decisions made by the moderator.
- Uproars concerning Jenny the dead minotaur fucker
- Uproars over female bullboarders and their vaginas.
- Daily threads concerning the poor quality of Phish, TEWL, and the Mars Voltron
- Prawn Song Newsletter: A newsletter put out by Prawn Song once every three to four years. This is almost always a cause for celebration, considering that the newsletter is always full of exciting, new information, and no newsletter is remotely similar to the one before it.
- A "What are your plans for this weekend?" thread is made weekly by Stubby. The title is fairly self-explanatory. According to Stubby, it "promotes a good share of social interaction, and helps the bullboard nation get to know one another". It very well may be the most useless event ever, aside from the aforementioned Phish, TEWL, and Mars Volta threads.
- The Primus Pic O the Day posted almost daily by mr. bionic heart.
Bullboard Music Exchange
The Bullboard Music Exchange, or BBME, is a somewhat successful event that involves Bullboarders creating music compilations and sending them to other members. It is aimed to show people music that they may not know of, or just to show what you like to listen to. For some reason, they're still going on, despite their uselessness.
It is currently run by rock 'n' roll and nana, and each installment begins when rock n' roll feels like it. The first few exchanges were done through snail mail, where they would send one cd to one person and receive a cd from another, like a ring. This system created problems like cd's being lost in the mail and such. It was rock 'n' roll that decided to take this through the internet for the sake of ease, less problems, and faster exchanges. He also did this because he wanted to hear new music, but didn't want to give out his address due to the fact of his mom being overprotective and thinking that everyone on it is a middle aged molester that wants his sweet, sweet anus. The new system had people send everyone their mix via several emails through gmail on their assigned day.
It has already gone through 7 installments. The sixth one was a absolute failure, as they decided to try out yousendit instead of gmail, but that just sucked ass.
Primus Pic O the Day
mr. bionic heart posts a picture just about every day that has the word "Primus" in it without it having to do with the band.
#1Fan always rates the PPOtD on a scale from 0.0 to 10.0. #1Fan has rated only a few as 10.0.
The Bullboard In Review
Every year on December 31st (or January 1st in the case on the 2006 edition), rock 'n' roll starts a thread about the most memorable events that had occurred on the Bullboard for the previous 365 days. It is also an unintended reminder on how much the board that year sucked more than the board in previous years.
It is worth noting that this did not happen for 2008. Mostly becase it was a terible year the the board, and partly because this was never really something that happened every year. It's mpre like that that rock 'n' roll added this section to make himself seem more vital to the board than he really was.
A List of Notable Users
Please see main article Bullboard Users
Popular Threads
- Random Pictures Thread, where users post random and/or interesting pictures from the internet.
- Song Game, a game based on song titles. however, lacking the ever popular "e-rule", the game has slipped in popularity, and now is just a shadow of it's phallic greatness.
- Don't post in this thread, its MY thread
- The Word Association Game Thread
- The Counting Thread
Despite it being a hidden thread and no longer active, the beer thread still reigns surpreme.
